The Second Arrow

Overview

Stubbing your toe hurts (Arrow 1). Blaming yourself hurts longer (Arrow 2).

Definition

First Arrow: Inevitable pain. Second Arrow: Optional reaction.

The Science

Pain-Suffering Gap

Primary pain lights up somatosensory cortex. Secondary lights up prefrontal cortex (story).

The Practice

Drop the Arrow

1. Identify Arrow 1 (Pain).
2. Identify Arrow 2 (Story).
3. Drop the story.
4. Soothe.

Common Pitfalls

• Denial.
• Masochism.

Key Takeaway

Suffering = Pain x Resistance.