Social Anxiety (Spotlight Effect)
Category: Relationships & Communication
Tags: Anxiety, Confidence
Overview
You feel like a spotlight is on you at the party. The truth? Everyone is too busy worrying about their own spotlight.
Definition
The Spotlight Effect is overestimating how much others notice us. Social Anxiety is the chronic fear of this.
The Science
Self-Referential Bias
The Default Mode Network tells a story about 'Me'. We project our internal nervousness onto others' minds.
The Practice
External Focus Shift
- Notice the inward turn.
- Pivot outward (color of eyes?).
- Be curious.
- Drop safety behaviors.
Common Pitfalls
- Drinking to cope (liquid courage).
- Avoidance.
Key Takeaway
You aren't the main character in anyone else's movie.