Holding Space
Category: Relationships & Communication
Tags: Empathy, Compassion
Overview
When someone is in pain, we try to fix it. Often, we are just trying to stop their pain to make ourselves feel better.
Definition
Holding Space is being present without judgment or fixing. It is a container for their experience.
The Science
Resonance vs. Distress
Fixing comes from Empathic Distress. Holding Space comes from Empathic Resonance, activating the safety system.
The Practice
The Witness Stance
- Ground yourself.
- Zip the lip (no advice).
- Validate.
- Tolerate silence.
Common Pitfalls
- Saying 'At least...'
- Hijacking with your own story.
Key Takeaway
People don't always need a hero. They need a witness.