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Holding Space

Category: Relationships & Communication
Tags: Empathy, Compassion
  • Definition
  • The Science
  • The Practice
  • Common Pitfalls

Overview

When someone is in pain, we try to fix it. Often, we are just trying to stop their pain to make ourselves feel better.

Definition

Holding Space is being present without judgment or fixing. It is a container for their experience.

The Science

Resonance vs. Distress

Fixing comes from Empathic Distress. Holding Space comes from Empathic Resonance, activating the safety system.

The Practice

The Witness Stance

  1. Ground yourself.
  2. Zip the lip (no advice).
  3. Validate.
  4. Tolerate silence.

Common Pitfalls

  • Saying 'At least...'
  • Hijacking with your own story.

Key Takeaway

People don't always need a hero. They need a witness.

The Modern Mindfulness Atlas

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